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THE INTERACTIONS OF WOMEN IN HORROR: HOW A TROLL OPENED MY EYES TO THE FEMALE FANDOM

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Yes, this is me at 13 working in a haunted house.

This is going to be a long one, so please, bear with me.

Being a horror fan has never been easy, regardless of gender.  We're often confused as Satanists, or assumed to have demented fantasies about killing other people.  When a kid shoots up a school, they don't blame their mental health stability, they blame the influence of violent forms of media.  Horror is used as a scapegoat to explain away the problems in society, when in retrospect, the horror community is filled with some of the most generous and giving individuals known to man.  Often viewed as a "guys' genre," the all-boys club of horror has put up these strange barriers in regards to the way it treats women.  Many horror films are inherently misogynist (V/H/S/ anyone?) and the most classic of horror movie formulas are centered around the fact women are the "weaker" of the sexes.  In the last few years, women have been bonding together with things like Women In Horror Recognition month in an attempt to give light to the overshadowed women working in the industry.  It's an amazing thing to see female horror fans working together, because there are many more of us than people seem to understand.  However, the fight against female horror fans isn't completely in the hands of men.  No. We women are just as guilty of spreading hatred towards women, and it's time we change that.

For those that follow me on twitter, you may have seen random tweets geared towards some disgusting comments that have been left on my blog.  For a long time, I was forced to put comment moderation (and even get rid of the option to post anonymously) because the things said to me and about me were downright disturbing.  I was sexually harassed, slut-shamed, body-shamed, told I was deserving of rape, and called every derogatory term for "woman" that one could imagine.  I honestly think urbandictionary could have an entire sub-page dedicated for the terminology used against me.  I had someone "catfish" on okcupid using my name, website, and photos.  I received threatening and derogatory emails daily that resembled the prank phone calls of Serial Mom.  For the past two years, I've been weary to write anything because the harassment was getting so severe I wasn't sure I could handle it.  All I kept asking was "why?"  Why don't my male counterparts get this sort of harassment? Why is everyone telling me to "buck up" when I'm getting constant harassment by the hour, even when I hadn't written in over two weeks?  Why were these people spending so much time trying to break me down?  Today, I got my answer.

Rebekah McKendry of FANGORIA
I received an email today from a throwaway account and signed by an anonymous sender.  I will spare the full details of e-mail because I don't believe it would be right to post it in its entirety.  The person in question has been seeking a great deal of therapy and it was at the request of her therapist that this person send me an apology and an explanation for their actions.  This person went in great detail describing how after losing their job, they wanted to start writing about horror online because "women don't write about horror, and I want to be the first."  She soon discovered people like Jovanka Vuckovic, Rebekah McKendry, Lianne Spiderbaby...and me.  In her words, "I was crushed to find out that I wasn't the only one, that what I thought made me special my entire life didn't make me special. There were lots of girls talking about horror, and they were talking about it better than I ever could."  It is because of this realization, that this woman began to fill with hatred.  "Those other girls were too big, too important for me to get under their skin, but you were just a blogger. I wanted you to hurt the way I hurt.  No one ever understood me. No one ever accepted my being a woman and loving horror. It wasn't fair. I knew you didn't have high-tech filters to weed out my comments, and I wanted you to know what it feels like to be hated just for being who you are."  I was shocked.  Absolutely shocked. This woman went on to explain that her hatred of me began to grow because so many people enjoyed what I wrote about, and as a woman in horror, I shouldn't get that.  She believed that because she had been treated poorly and bullied for liking horror movies and being a girl, that all of us should have to endure the same form of treatment.  After a lengthy confession of how many email accounts she made just to comment my blogs and that she would take vulgar youtube comments off of popular videos for inspiration, she began to discuss my appearance.

This woman in question is, in her words, "a fucking lady C.H.U.D. undeserving of any sort of compassion."  This right away shows me that this woman has serious self esteem issues that I cannot help with, but she used it against me.  "Why do you get to be beautiful?  The only thing I have in my back pocket to use to possibly allure men with is my horror knowledge, and now beautiful women like you are doing the same? It's just not fair. You can't be both."  At this point, my heart began to break. This sort of mindset is something that I knew men used against women (ie: beautiful cosplayers are 'fake geek girls') but I never really sat down to think about the way women interact with each other on a basis of appearance.  She even admitted to being the one who made the fake account on okCupid using my credentials.  She only deleted it once she saw on twitter that I had been informed of the fake account, but she had "cyber sex" with many men pretending to be me.  Sorry to those out there that were duped, but it wasn't me.  I've been grateful to have a core group of fellow women in horror that don't image-shame each other, but this woman opened my eyes to something today that doesn't get talked about nearly enough.

A still from the documentary FANTASM
Women are just as guilty as men for judging other women for being horror fans.  I've seen it first hand, but because our struggle against men is so deep, we pretend the struggle within our own gender doesn't exist.  Obviously the woman above is a very, very, VERY extreme example of hatred for fellow woman, but she really showed me the fall out of the slippery slope that is hating on women in horror.  Let me say this loud and clear, THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO BE A HORROR FAN.  I don't care if you know the amount of freckles on Stephen King's ass or if the only horror you've ever seen was in a Regal Theater and released by Anchor Bay.  I don't care if you have met every zombie of Night of the Living Dead and have them on speed dial or get George A. Romero confused with Stan Lee.  I don't care if you look like Miss America or the Brenda Monster in Slither. Everyone has to have a starting point, and horror fandom is not exclusive for a certain TYPE of person.  There is no measurement on passion.  If you like horror, even in the slightest bit, you're invited to the party.  If there is one thing the horror community has shown me over the years, it's that we are an equal opportunity fandom.  We as women are already the ones looked down upon, so why would we judge each other?  I hate to quote Mean Girls, but "we gotta stop calling each other 'sluts' and 'whores' it just makes it okay for guys to call us 'sluts' and 'whores.'"  How are we ever going to get out of the proverbial hole at the bottom of Buffalo Bill's basement if we're continuing to push and pull each other down?  It's a cycle that needs to end, now.

GET PREPARED FOR HALLOWEEN WITH WOOCHIE MAKEUP KITS AVAILABLE FROM WHOLESALEHALLOWEENCOSTUMES.COM

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Today may be the first day of Summer, but it's never too early to prepare for the haunting season. Woochie has released a set of makeup kits geared towards zombies for this year, and I was lucky enough to try them out.  For a makeup kit, I found the supplies to be very user friendly and even more cost effective.  For those just starting out with makeup kits and unsure of where to begin, WholeSaleHalloweenCostumes.com has composed this handy tutorial to help assist you with your Zombie Bullet Wound needs!


Zombie Makeup - Bloody Bullet Wounds

THRILL KILL: SEVEN MINUTES OF FAST PACED, THRILLING, SEX ON WHEELS.

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The Studio on Mars is no stranger to Day of the Woman, but the small independent film company out of Cleveland, Ohio has officially earned the rights to wear their big boy pants with their short film, THRILL KILL.  The directorial debut of Zach Shildwachter, THRILL KILL is a seven minute short that feels like a cross between the opening sequence of Resevoir Dogs sprinkled with some of the perverted villains from episodes of Criminal Minds.  Vulgar, sexy, loud, bloody, and creepy, THRILL KILL is one of the most fun I've had watching a short film in a very long time. Shot in four hours on a budget of only $130 dollars, THRILL KILL's cinematography rivals anything a big budget can crank out. This. Film. Is. Pretty.  This film cost less than a PS3 to make, but it doesn't show.  I seriously cannot wrap my head around how it is humanly possible to make something that beautiful for that cheap.


J Buckner stars as the masked man driving away from what appears to be a heist gone wrong with a dying, beautiful woman riding passenger of a gorgeous '77 Mustang. Buckner (the director and star of Studio on Mars' freshman piece, I AM ALIVE) does most of the talking and may have a future in playing men that give me the grade-A creeps.  However, it's the sharp left turn delivered by actress Agata Stasiak that kept me drawn in.  How someone manages to be furiously sexy and muster some funny one-liners at the same time is really impressive.  The two have very awkward chemistry, but it works exactly the way Shildwachter wants it to.  Watching them is uncomfortable, and for one particular moment, sort of unsettling to watch, but I couldn't imagine it being any other way. THRILL KILL pays homage to a multitude of film genres, and Shildwachter respectfully showcases his inspirations through his camera work and visual design.



The only major complaint I have is an overabundance of the f-bomb. In Buckner's minute and a half long opening monologue, there's 31 uses of the word "fuck," "fucking" or "motherfucker."  It feels a bit trying, and pulls away some of the intensity of the opening sequence.  How much of that came from writing v. how much came from the actor is something I do not know, but it is luckily only 1:30minutes of the film.  Once the monologue ends and the realstory picks up, THRILL KILL quickly becomes one hell of a ride.

Shildwachter's piece may not be picture perfect, but it's incredibly strong directorial debut.  Beautiful camera work, a keen eye for detail, and an attention-span friendly style all combine to showcase his potential to do something much bigger and better.  Fortunately for us, the folks at The Studio on Mars released THRILL KILL today, for free, online.  Check it out below!

THRILL KILL from The Studio on Mars on Vimeo.

THE TOP 13 HORROR MOVIE MONOLOGUES

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This isn't on the list, but it deserves mention. Yay, Jack!
Throughout my collegiate career as a Theatre major, I was forced to perform and memorize more monologues than I thought was humanly possible.  In a world full of shortened textspeak and quick paced dialogue, the long winded monologue isn't utilized nearly as much as it once was.  Despite popular belief, monologues aren't exclusive to Shakespearean tragedies.  In fact, horror movies have provided us with some of best monologues in cinematic history.  There's something unnerving about listening to someone talk for long periods of time in a movie that at any moment could jump in our face and make us pee the seat.  Some monologues are meant to terrify, some are meant to make us laugh, some set the tone, and others tell us the truth all along.

(NOTE: some of the monologues contain spoilers about the film, but if you haven't seen these films by now, you are bad and you should feel bad. If you see a photo of a film you haven't seen, scroll past it. You've been warned.) 


13)"Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny?" -SE7EN
Kevin Spacey, you are one creepy bastard.  Se7en was the film that proved the terrors of real life are just as horrific as the fictional.  Crossing the line from crime thriller to bonafide horror film, Kevin Spacey's "John Doe" put his Academy Award winning acting chops to work with his confession (and defense) to his crimes.  John Doe is a psychologists wet dream, but this confession speech let us all peer into the psychotic mind of a serial killer who finds his actions completely justified.


12)"Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous?" - FRANKENSTEIN
Henry Frankenstein was already off his rocker with his desire to reanimate the dead, but this God complex ridden scientist was not only proud of his life's work, but rather defensive.  After Waldman tells Dr. Frankenstein that his creature will prove dangerous, the good doctor quickly retorts with a monologue explaining the method to his madness.  More importantly, it's the moment that we realize Henry Frankenstein has completely lost his touch with reality. Call him crazy all you want, at this point of the film, Dr. Frankenstein is fresh out of fucks to give.


11)"His name was Jason." - FRIDAY THE 13TH
It has been said that nothing compares to the love a mother has for her child, and Pamela Voorhees loved her son more than any other cable knitted sweater wearing mother ever has.  Friday the 13th is synonymous with the hockey mask wearing Jason Voorhees, but the original villain of the freshman installment of the franchise was Jason's darling Mommy Dearest.  The manic monologue delivered expressed not only her sheer insanity, but the unconditional love only a mother could possess.


10)"My name is Ash, and I'm a slave."-ARMY OF DARKNESS
Praised for his iconic one-liner delivery, some forget that Ashley J. Williams is also one hell of a storyteller. After the events of Evil Dead I & II we needed a quick recap to catch up with our favorite boomstick wielding hero.  I could have very well chosen the boomstick monologue, but because that monologue is known more for the initial line, I wanted to shed light on the more unappreciated of the two.  Shop smart, shop S-Mart.

 09) "I'm so scared." -THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
It was the snot bubble heard round the world.  Before it became the central focus of many parody skits in films, The Blair Witch Project was a horrifying found footage film that had audiences genuinely convinced that they were watching the real deal.  What could be argued as one of the best showcases of a viral marketing campaign, this heartbroken confession of a filmmaker realizing she's gotten in too deep with her project was the pivotal moment where we genuinely became concerned about these people.  For me, it's when she starts apologizing to the parents of her film crew. That moment breaks my heart and forces me to become emotionally invested. Snot bubbles and all.

08)"I've killed a lot of people!"-AMERICAN PSYCHO
Christian Bale's Patrick Bateman is one of my favorite characters in horror history, and with good reason.  Straying away from typical horror movie formula, Bale actually delivers a lot of incredible monologues throughout the film.  The opening sequence of his daily routine, the inner monologue about business cards, his love of Phil Collins and Genesis, his explanation as to why "Hip to be Square" is so catchy, are all memorable and quoteworthy.  However, it is when Patrick Bateman calls his lawyer that we truly understand just how insane (and talented) he really is. In complete hysterics, Bateman's emotional shifts from panic, sorrow, remorse, hatred, disgust, worry, and an eerie sense of calm.  Every single moment in this monologue is sheer brilliance.
07)"The devil's eyes." - HALLOWEEN
The fact that when I google "Dr. Loomis," Malcolm McDowell shows up first should be illegal in the lawbooks of the Internet.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some Malcolm McDowell, but Donald Pleasence IS Dr. Loomis.  When Michael Myers first haunted the psyche of every girl that ever babysat, there were questions about who this white-masked, silent killer was all about.  Dr. Loomis introduced us to the inhuman monster that is Michael Myers.  The strength in his words and the look in his eye while he recalls the horrific interactions he shared with The Shape is conviction in its truest form.


06)"I'm here to destroy them."-NIGHTBREED
Dr. Decker's speech perfectly embodies the necessity to kill. Not the desire, the perverted justification of ritual, but the cold, hard truth of necessity. Life is wasted, squandered by those that simply do little more than procreate because they can. Decker's Zipperface exists to remind the exponentially expanding virus of humanity that there is always something in the darkness to keep the balance, to force the hand of death when the Grim Reaper's scythe grows heavy. Killing isn't a ritual, it's a duty, a service to mankind. How could anyone possibly question the motives of these actions? Oh, that's right. He's batshit insane and like stabbing people. Still an amazing speech though.


05)"They were screaming." -THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
Jodie. Foster. There's a reason this film won the big five with the Academy, and the epic "silence of the lambs" monologue given from Jodie Foster recalling her childhood after having the memories pulled out of her through the persuasion of Dr. Hannibal Lecter has a lot to do with the results.  Playing opposite a man who won Best Actor for a performance with the same amount of screen time as an episode of Adventure Time, Jodie Foster is absolutely captivating.  You can almost feel the pain leave her lips and spread into your body with every heartbreaking word.

04)"It's gonna be all my fault. - FROZEN
 When we die, we leave behind absolutely everything we have.  In the wake of our passing, we must realize that forever alone will be our material possessions, our loved ones, our friends...and our pets.  Considering we're a society that will walk out of a theater if a dog dies before we'll riot over a man getting eaten by wolves, it's safe to say that we're entirely consumed with our furry friends. I'll admit it, I totally am. I love my Napoleon complex having dog and wouldn't change him for the world.  The fact of the matter is, pets are a major part of our lives and the "dog monologue" from Frozen is one of the most brilliantly written (and performed) monologues addressing that issue. This monologue completely nails what would happen to a dog had the owner died somewhere out of the house, and I become immediately depressed every time I hear it. I would have ranked this a lot higher, because it's easily my second favorite horror movie monologue of all time, but I tried to make this list as subjective as possible.


03)"She wouldn't even harm a fly."-PSYCHO
If you even need a reason why this monologue is on this list, you can kick rocks. Norman Bates (played by the incredible Anthony Perkins) doesn't say a single word throughout this entire scene, but rather, is narrated by the voice of "Mother."  As unsettling as her words are, watching Norman look around the room and finally into the camera is the perfection combination to make your skin crawl off of your skeleton and run for the hills.


02)"I'll never put on a life jacket again." - JAWS
Sometimes, an actor knows his character better than a writer ever could. This famous monologue was re-written and performed by Robert Shaw.  As Quint tells his "origin story," so to speak, the tragic truth behind his burning hatred for sharks is revealed through recalling graphic imagery. The entire film is centered around a man-eating shark, but Bruce's fear doesn't come close to the horrific story as told by Quint.

01) "The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas" -GREMLINS
Oh, yes. I went there.  Santa Claus is a universal symbol of joy for almost all children, but the sickos behind Gremlins managed to turn one of the happiest fictional characters into a tragedy even Lifetime wouldn't make a movie out of.  What I always loved about this monologue was not only the content, but the fact Phoebe Cates delivers it so matter-of-factly.  Something tragic happened to her, but she doesn't break down and cry or start throwing a tantrum, she tells it as if she was giving her lunch order to an intern.  The pacing developed from the intentional wording makes the monologue somewhat hard to predict with its irregular rhythm, which keeps audiences feeling unsettled and unsure of what will come after it.  This damn monologue is without a doubt the greatest monologue of horror movie history.

THE POWER OF ANTHOLOGY HORROR FOR THE NEW MILLENIUM

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As each day passes, the modern audience is rapidly changing.  From movies hitting VOD before they arrive in theaters or smart phone applications that tell audiences when "boring" scenes are coming up so they can leave to use the bathroom, movie audiences just aren't what they used to be.  Of course there are the wonderful exceptions of film lovers that understand the phone is meant to be left off and leaving in the middle of a movie is disrespectful to not only the audience, but also those involved with the production of the film.  With audiences constantly changing and evolving, it's only natural for the modern horror film to change along with it.  Anthology horror films have been a favorite subgenre for decades, but there as recently been an abundance of anthology horror films being produced.  Trick R Treat, Chillerama, V/H/S/, The ABC's of Death, V/H/S/2, and the announcement of The ABC's of Death 2 have all proven that horror fans are hungry for anthology horror.  Short form filmmaking has become one of the most enticing mediums for horror audiences, and the success of these independently released anthology horror projects is prove of this idea.  The question remains, why?  Why are anthology horror films bigger than ever?  Despite the popularity of Tales from the Crypt, The Twilight Zone, and the countless other anthology horror projects that came before the current era of filmmaking, anthology horror went into somewhat of a hibernation and have only recently surfaced as something audiences loved to watch, and craved to get their hands on. 


A major draw to anthology films is the ability to satisfy our desire for nostalgia.  Regardless of the lies we like to tell ourselves, horror fans are some sentimental creeps.  We endlessly watch films from our childhood that may not have been a "good" film, but the sense of nostalgia it instills within us is totally worth it for us.  Horror movies are constantly being remade because we continually pay for admission to watch someone take a familiar film and give it new life.  We love the sense of nostalgia, and anthology horror films deliver us that satisfaction.  Anthology horror films are reminiscent of the late nights we spent watching Tales from the Crypt or The Twilight Zone.  For many of us, these anthology horror television series were some of our introductory experiences with horror.  I know I can remember sitting on my Grandfather's couch watching The Twilight Zone episode "The Number 12 Looks Like You" when I was only six years old and being terrified that when I got older I'd have to trade in my face.  The Trilogy of Terror and other anthology style made for TV movies were highly successful during their initial releases, and the resurgence has proven that we're a group of people who love their throwbacks.


We're also a generation (regardless of genre) of people growing increasingly more impatient.  We're an "immediate" generation, more comfortable with instant gratification than long term enjoyment.  The attention spans of the modern audience are rapidly shrinking, and anthology horror is the perfect remedy.  Whether we like it or not, we have to admit that people today don't pay attention to films the way they used to.  It's almost impulsive to check a phone and there are those that genuinely can't make it through a two hour movie without texting.  It's sick, but it's the world we live in. Anthology horror films satisfy the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" way of dealing with things. Audiences that are used to changing the remote control to something else if they find it dissatisfied no longer find themselves in the situation where they are forced to sit through a film they hate simply because they already paid for it.  When watching an anthology film, if an audience hates one of the segments, there's no worry, because something completely new and different will be coming up shortly.  This is especially appealing with films like The ABC's of Death, where segments are shorter than some people's bowel movements.

Perhaps most importantly, though, anthology horror films provide a sense of variety.  With the vast amount of information at our fingertips, the modern audience craves a multitude of different ways to tickle the brainwaves.  Anyone who has ever gone on a "click-through" on Wikipedia, or spent even 20 minutes on stumbleupon.com knows exactly what I'm talking about.  One moment you're looking up the run time of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone and before you know it, you're researching the methodology behind dog breeding.  No one knows exactly how you got from point A to point B, but you know this game of mouse-click telephone was interesting and held your attention.  Anthology horror films give us that pleasure.  We're given a variety of characters with different names, different faces, different circumstances, and different stories.  There's no outlet for us to grow stagnant, and a range of our intrigues are experienced. 

I genuinely believe that anthology horror films will continue to gain popularity and become the next "it" thing in horror films.  Anthology horror films allow exposure for up-and-coming filmmakers and the ability to express new ideas and means of storytelling.  As long as the modern audience continues to evolve, anthology horror is going to remain a timeless subgenre that will continue to entertain.

FOR THE LOVE OF EXPLOITATION: DIE, DEVELKOK, DIE!

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Mike Dobrzelecki (I promise you, you're saying it wrong) is one strange bird.  Paying homage to the exploitation films of the '70s and '80s, Die, Develkok, Die! is a love letter to all of the subgenres that keep the horror genre scaring housewives all across the country.

The story follows Terry Develkok (Chad Laha), a man just coasting through life growing increasingly unsatisfied with where he's ended up.  In an attempt to end it all, he soon discovers that he is invincible.  Terry Develkok can not die.  Determined to use this discovery for the betterment of humanity, Develkok is thrown on an adventure that quickly shifts gears from an exploitative horror film, into a superhero gorefest of vigilante justice against the scum of the streets.  A little on the shorter side for a feature, Develkok is a quick trip down memory lane for fans of old-school horror.  Dobrzelecki (or Mike D as he is known) truly has a deep and abiding love for splatter, exploitation, and the films of yesteryear, and the writing and style of Die, Develkok, Die! prove that with every last frame.

Develkok could have been improved upon, as could all films, but this independent feature has a whole lot of good wrapped up in it.  For one thing, the practical fx are extremely impressive.  The wound that follows Terry Develkok's attempted suicide is absolutely SICK, and it's all homemade.  Mike D was the man behind the makeup brush as well, which gave a nice sense of continuity between the characters.  The gore is gross-out at moments and the over-the-top sound effects that accompany the gore add just the right "umph" to cross the line from cheap to entertaining.  Mike D. loves his gore, and he makes  it very well.

If I had to pick one thing to gripe about, it would probably have to be the through line of Terry Develkok.  This film has an array of colorful villains for Terry Develkok to do battle with, but they tend to take over his story.  Had this film had a similar balance to that of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, I think Die, Develkok, Die! would have been a remarkably stronger film.  However, this gripe doesn't break the film, not by a long shot.  This charming little indie flick still remains to be a fun view and a nice look back at the films that sparked the way we do horror today.   Die, Develkok, Die! may not be a perfect picture, but it's truly a passion project and a solid effort by a couple of filmmakers in Murfreesboro, TN. For more information, “Like” the Die, Develkok, Die!'sFacebook page and stay tuned for Mike D.’s next film, Terms, already in pre-production.

FEEDING HOLLYWOOD AFTER MIDNIGHT: AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH ZACH GALLIGAN

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To become an icon, to truly establish oneself as a prominent figure in cinema is something that every actor dreams of.  The nostalgia obsessed culture of horror fans holds their icons near and dear to their heart, and regardless of how much time passes, these individuals will forever be ones we admire.  Zach Galligan, known for Gremlins, Waxwork, Surviving, Cut, Hatchet III, and countless other films is without a doubt one of the most beloved of all figures in horror cinema.  Bursting into our homes as Billy Peltzer in Gremlins, the bright-eyed owner of everyone's favorite little Mogwai quickly sky-rocketed to success, and has managed to somewhat stay there.  While most child actors grow up and have more toxins coursing through their blood streams than an episode of Breaking Bad, Zach Galligan has not only managed to overcome the child-star death trap, but is continuing to work on a variety of productions.  Thanks to the power of Twitter, I was fortunate enough to have a one-on-one skype interview with Zach Galligan, and peer inside the mind of someone that I've admired from childhood.  An icon for horror fans, and a beloved celebrity for convention-goers, Zach Galligan is sincerely one of the greatest working actors.

Day of the Woman: The other night on Twitter, you were posting a lot of different memes and seemed to spark a little war with some of the ever-powerful Daryl Dixon fan base. Which, as you know, they’re insane.

Zach Galligan: INSANE. That’s kind of why I like to mess with them a little bit.

DotW: They’re absolutely apeshit. Have you ever experienced absolute crazy fanatics, like, “I watched Waxwork eighty-five times naked?” Do those people exist?

Galligan: See, the difference between Norman Reedus and myself is that I think his persona is an intensely sexual one. I think mine is an intensely sweet one.  Sweet people tend to attract less sexually aggressive people.  Whereas, “sexy guys” like Brad Pitt and Depp and Robert Downey Jr. and Reedus have this swaggery sexual thing that whips women into a sexual lather. They get frothy.

DotW: That’s an amazing way to put it.

Galligan: I mean, they get whipped into a sexual frenzy, and I don’t do that with any of my performances. I have found at times that when people meet me in the flesh, I’m so different from the “Hi, Mom! Hi Dad! I’m home” kind of sweet thing that I play, that I’m nothing like and what I’ve never been like at all…what I do find sometimes, and it’s pretty rare, several times when I’ve met women, and it’s almost always women, sometimes it’s gay men too, and sometimes even straight dudes who have just watched me 150 times when they were a kid and they’re just freaked out that I stepped off the screen or something like that, but I have had some women that have been trembling when they met me. They’re all sweaty and clammy and I’m like “Breathe, It’s okay. Breathe. I’m just a dude.” 

DotW: Wooooow.

Galligan: There was one time when I went to Japan and there was this line of Gremlins toys that were really cool, like LJN toys, you could probably find them on the internet, they were really cool, and I went and I signed some boxes for the toy company, and they flew me out. After this convention there was this VIP meet and greet where you could pay a little extra money and have dinner with me and 60 close personal friends, that kind of a thing, and there was one young woman who was probably about your age, 23-24 years old, Japanese girl, and she was sitting in the corner with her friends staring at me.  Obviously most of the people there spoke Japanese, because you’re in Japan, but finally this guy who spoke English pretty well dragged her over to meet me.  As he dragged her over, she was pulling back like she didn’t want to and I was like, “Don’t force her if she’s not feeling good.” She came over to me and she was shaking violently like she had a 28 Days Latervirus or something.  So the guy introduces her and says her name and I said, “Hi, how are you?” and I shook her hand, and she fainted. She collapsed.

DotW: That. Is. Amazing.

Galligan: And I was with my then-wife at the time and when the girl fainted, I turned to her and said, “See, what’s your problem? Why don’t you faint when I touch you?” (laughs) But I don’t get the sexual frenzy thing that The Walking Dead people do, or that Reedus does in particular.

DotW: I cannot imagine having that kind of fanbase. I wonder what his life is like?

Galligan: I certainly know the feeling of when Gremlins came out, basically after a month of it being out, I couldn’t go anywhere in Manhattan. For me at 20 years old, it was really, really weird.  It’s hard to describe to someone your age that grew up with so much media, but back in ’84, ’85, there were six magazines.  Time, Newsweek, Us Weekly, Rolling Stone, TV Guide, and that’s it! If you were on one of those magazines, every fucking person in America saw you.  There were six magazines, now, there’s like six thousand.  There are all these tabloids and they’re all the same, just fifty shades of Kim Kardashian.  So what would happen is, I did the cover of People Magazine with Molly Ringwald, which every single woman between the ages of 15 and 45 read like the bible.  As soon as they put me on the cover, it was basically sending a message across the entire country that said, “Are you thinking of sleeping with a young guy? Because this is the guy you should be sleeping with.”  It’s hard to describe to people who weren’t there, but it was insanity. Once you did Seventeen and Tiger Beat…

DotW: Were you on the same page as River Phoenix?

Galligan: River Phoenix was in that movie!

DotW: I know that! But were you on the same page?

Galligan: River Phoenix came up to me on the set of Surviving because I was big then and nobody knew who he was. He was 15 and probably a year or two away from getting really famous.  He came up to me, and he was a very mischievous 15 year old.  He was 15 and I was 20, he was adorable and I was all method back then, so I’d give him piggyback rides back to his trailer.  He’d see me between takes getting swarmed by girls in Oklahoma City, and there’s nothing to do in OK City than watch the clay turn slightly redder, so when the girl from Sixteen Candles and the guy from Gremlins are shooting a movie down your block, it’s pandafuckingmonium.  So there’d be girls behind police barricades and I’d be signing shit and they’d be screaming and wetting their pants, and River comes up to me one time and goes, “Hey Zach, if I become a big star like you, am I gonna get the same quality ass you are?”
DotW: (dies of laughter) Oh my god. That is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. So, did you have any idea how big Gremlins was going to be?  Obviously it was big when it got released, but the cult following that stayed with it is kind of insane.
Galligan: We all knew it was going to be huge before we even started, because you have to put it into context.  We started production in April ’83, and E.T. was still in theaters.  It was still blowing up and was the world’s biggest movie.  So Spielberg was coming off the hottest movie ever made and we were basically doing an E.T. variation.  So even if we did a quarter of the business E.T. did, we’d do 150 million, 300-400 million dollars worldwide, which I think we ended up doing.  That’s in 1984 dollars, and a billion dollars in merchandise.  It was a massive hit.  It only doesn’t seem like as massive of a hit because it was slightly overshadowed by Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and even more by Ghostbusters which was released on the same day.
DotW: I have never even made that connection, before. Wow.
Galligan: To answer the second half, if you had told me three decades later, and thirty years is a long fucking time, that people would still be watching it, love it, and show their kids it, and that’s what is so cleverly constructed, is that there’s almost nothing in the picture that dates it to 1983.  So it’s like Gremlinsis almost trapped in time.  It has a timeless quality in Anytown, USA.  It’s actually pretty progressive, with having a black teacher, when a lot of ‘80s movies where all white.  So you see it now, and if you were an idiot and someone told you it was shot in 1997, it’s conceivable. You pop it in, and it’s just a story, and it works.
DotW: I can see that, totally.
Galligan: It’s weirder for me now because back then, I expected it to be big.  It’s so surreal; it’s impossible to explain.  I don’t know if you caught my interview with Entertainment Tonight, but I was at a club one time and Marilyn Manson came up to me and asked me to sign his Gremlins lunch box.
DotW: What? No way!
Galligan: See, to me, here’s how fame works.  If you were famous before I was, you’re fucking famous.  I grew up in the ‘70s, so The Fonz, Henry Winkler, that fucking guy’s famous.
DotW: He does have a bronze statue in Milwaukee…
Galligan: Exactly!  But then I meet Brad Pitt, who got famous like seven or eight years after me, but I’m like “Oh, cool, whatever.” I’m not saying I’m not impressed by what they’ve achieved, because I am, but to me, famous is people who were famous before I was famous.  When they become famous after you, it’s like they become part of your peer group.  It turns into “Oh, hey, that’s my actor friend. I remember when they came on.” Does that make sense?
DotW: I think that mentality totally works.  It’s like when people get upset when younger people win Oscars that mentality totally works.  Now, this is a question that probably only I care about, but how in the world were you able to sit in the same room as Phoebe Cates delivering the greatest written monologue of all time?  I’m sorry, Shakespeare, no, the “Why I hate Christmas” monologue is the most brilliant thing ever constructed.  Knowing you got to be a part of that, to me, that is the coolest thing anyone can ever say.  Okay, that was my fangirlness. It’s gone, I can talk to you like a normal person now.

Galligan: The interesting thing about that monologue is that Joe Dante loved it, and Spielberg had very mixed feelings about it. He thought it was a clever piece of writing and liked it, but he wasn’t sure if the E.T. crowd would get it or if it would ruin the tone.  Joe’s idea was that this is the tone.  The whole movie is like a big prank on the audience because the first 45 minutes are like “Oh, it’s ET 2” and then NOT.  We were trying to get you to lower your guard so then we could go “Gotcha!” and it was perfect for that.  So here’s the thing with Phoebe.  Phoebe Cates was 19 years old at the time. She was a kid, but she was a very, very sophisticated young woman.  She grew up in Manhattan, hung out with Warhol, was a model at 14, did the Studio 54 thing, this was not her first rodeo by any stretch of the imagination.  She claimed at the time, and I believe her, that the only reason she took the role because she didn’t think it was much of a role except for the monologue.  The monologue was the entire reason she took the role.
DotW: My heart is just dancing right now.
Galligan: And she worked on that monologue night and day. Over, and over, and over. And she ran it for me dozens of time and she’d change a word here or agonize over this word, it was her raison d'etre for doing this movie, and I totally believe her.  So the day came, and she was nervous but kind of excited, and we shot it, and it went great.  Everyone thought it went great.  Then they showed the dailies to Spielberg or people at Warner Bros. and somebody there hated it.  Not her performance, but were like “this is sick.” And we were like “that’s the point!”  It was a Tim Burton, (who didn’t even exist then) Charles Addams, joke.  And so Joe told Phoebe and she was beside herself because her feeling was, “This was the whole reason I did this.” And I can remember she was really distraught, but Joe Dante said, “Well, lucky for you, I have final cut.” Which he did. “And as far as I’m concerned, it’s staying in, because I think it’s great.” “I promised you it’s staying in, and it’s staying in.” And as you and everybody knows, it stayed in.  Even though there were a lot of people involved in the movie who thought it was in poor taste and a bad joke and dreadful, but of course now it’s a movie legend.
DotW: The first time I watched that, I was probably about 8 or 9.  I just remember sitting back and thinking, and I was totally desensitized from watching sick movies with my mom, but I remember thinking “that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”  I didn’t even need blood for that, it was just sad.  It became my favorite.  So I get to college and I had an assignment where I had to do a monologue and the challenge was to do a monologue my teacher couldn’t place, so I did that one.  And I did it, and I did it so serious and my professor knew that he knew it, but he didn’t know what he knew it from, and he just goes “Ugh, God, that’s just so wrong and sick.” “What is that from?” and I looked him dead in the eye and went, “Gremlins, mothafucka!” and walked out. So yeah, what you just told me just met the peak of my fandom. 
Galligan: (laughs)
DotW: Switching gears, so, you were just in Hatchet III and you got to play a “character,” but what is the most fun about being in a movie like Hatchet III which is just a gorefest and such an Adam Green style movie.  I love his style and the references and for him, and he is a total fanboy about Gremlins, I mean, the first rule of the “Holliston Nation” shirt is “Don’t date a girl who hasn’t seen Gremlins, because it’s dangerous.” Clearly, he knows your shit.  What’s it like working with someone who is that big of a fan of your work.

 Galligan: You have to understand, I’m used to people being obsessed with Gremlins.  I hear about it at least every other day for three decades, so you kind of get used to it.  What was great about Adam was that he was such a fanboy about it, and it figures so prominently with the relationship with his wife.  He credits Gremlins with saving his relationship with his wife and it’s a beautiful story, so I knew it had a ridiculous impact on him.  I’m was so grateful, and still am grateful for him to just throw me that role.  I didn’t even have to audition for it, he just sent it to me and asked if I wanted to do it.  I was really grateful for him to sort of, get me back out there.  It’s important for people to see you do something recent, they can’t just see shit you’ve done in the past.  When we did the L.A. portion of shooting Hatchet III which was everything inside the ambulance boat, that whole sequence was shot in about 4 days about a half mile from his house in a set in his back yard. Just goes to show you the magic of filmmaking.
DotW: What? No way. I never would have guessed that.
Galligan: No one had any idea. You step outside the ambulance boat and it was like Adam Green’s backyard.  So I wanted to do something special for him as a way of saying thank-you, so I got him and Joe Lynch and they came over and we threw on the Gremlins blu-ray and I did the R-Rated, no one could ever publish, no one could ever know about, behind the scenes, ultimate scene-by-scene commentary through the whole movie for Joe and Adam.  They’d stop and ask questions and I’d fill them in and I’d point something out and say, “See that, that’s where thishappened.” And they’d freak out, but they got the ultimate Gremlinscommentary and they’re the only two who will ever get it.
DotW: That is the best present anyone could ever have, and probably could ever ask for.
Galligan: They seemed to really enjoy it, they still talk about it.  But a lot of crazy stuff went on behind the scenes.  I mean, it was me, Phoebe Cates, and Judge Reinhold, we were college kids. We were insane. I don’t want you to think I ever had a relationship with Phoebe Cates, because she and I never dated.
DotW: Yeah, my creepy obsession has let me know that.
Galligan: People wanted us to have dated.
DotW: Could you imagine if tumblr had been around in the ‘80s? Oh my god, just imagine the creepy fanfiction people would write about you two.  I don’t even want to know what they’d do with Gizmo in these stories.
Galligan: Yeah, no. People wanted us to have but it didn’t happen, and I’m not gonna make it up just to make people happy.
DotW: People just want the “met on the set, fell in love, blah blah blah” stories.
Galligan: Oh, we met on the set and I had a huge crush on her, it was just never reciprocated.
DotW: (laughs) That makes it so much better. So I’ve been going through other interviews to make sure not to ask you something someone else has already asked.
Galligan: You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, BJ. You can ask me anything.
DotW: Okay, hm, well, was there ever a time when you were just absolutely sick of Gremlins or Waxwork?
Galligan: Yes, absolutely. I think all actors who have a big hit go through that and come out the other side.  You look back at it, and you kind of accept it, and at the end of the day you’re glad it stood the test of time and you’re associated with something people enjoy so much.  I can tell you the exact moment when I went from “God, Gremlins, I wish people would just shut up about it” to “Hey, you know what? This is pretty cool.”  I was sitting on my couch in Los Angeles watching TNT and Gremlins was on the guide.  I hadn’t seen it in years because I don’t sit around and watch my own movies, but it turned away to commercial and in between the commercial it said “You’re watching the New Classics: Gremlins on TNT” and I thought “The New Classics? I like that. I like the sound of that. Are they really saying that about that movie? Fuck yeah!” And now they play it all the time on Christmas and it’s become one of the top 5-6 movies around Christmas.  I think it’s kind of amazing now because I’m fairly certain that after I die, they’ll still play it around Christmas.  Kind of like how Jimmy Stewart’s gone and they still show It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s kind of an awesome feeling to knowing that you’ve done something that will stand the test of time and probably outlive you by a couple of years and keep your image and your likeness and the fact you existed on this planet out there. That’s pretty bad-ass.
DotW: If I’m being totally honest, as morbid as this sounds, I think Gremlinswill outlive you by more than just a few years.  There are a lot of people where Gremlins is their Christmas tradition.  So, we haven’t mentioned the film in one take, Cut, and I wanna know how that was.
Galligan: You saw that?!

DotW: Yeah…but I can’t tell you how I saw it…
Galligan: I only saw it once in a theater and the sound was off, and it was incredibly exciting to do each take but I don’t think it worked as a horror movie. I didn’t think there were any scares.
DotW: Yeah…I have to agree.
Galligan: It just wasn’t really scary.  It was fun as hell and it came at an amazing place in my life, so it was a great experience for me.  I don’t know how good the movie is because I’m too close to it, but from everyone’s reactions to it on imdb, it seems like it didn’t really work.
DotW: When I saw it, I was told “I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but I want to see if you can find the good in this.”
Galligan: And you couldn’t find anything good in this?
DotW: I thought that it would be an incredible exercise for an actor, but I can also find the good in The Happening.
Galligan: I guess you thought it was pretty bad if you could find something good in The Happening but you couldn’t find anything good in Cut, I think we have a problem.
DotW: Hey, if you watch that movie thinking they’re all in on a joke, it becomes one of the most hilarious movies you’ll ever see.  If you think they’re all just trolling us, when Marky Mark delivers the speech to the plastic tree, it doesn’t get any better than that.
Galligan: I think the best thing to do is to get into some form of an altered state, and just imagine that he’s being chased by demon farts. Just giant farts chasing him. That’s the villain.  It’s the funniest thing imaginable. 
DotW: Whoever wrote the police reaction line of, “Cheese and Crackers” needs to be shot. It was at such a tense moment annnnd it’s gone.
Galligan: It had a good trailer.
DotW: It did have a good trailer. It also works as a good drinking game. Drink everytime Zooey Deschanel doesn’t blink, you’ll be drunk the whole movie. I think she blinks three times in that entire film.
Galligan: (laughs)
DotW: So, of all the characters you’ve played, which one is the closest to you?
Galligan: Hm. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that.
DotW: YES! This is what success feels like. You could always go the other way and choose which one you’re the furthest from.
Galligan: Well, I played a gay Hollywood agent in The Storytellerswith Mitzi Kapture, Brad Dourif, and Tippi Hedren, I’d have to say I’m pretty far away from the gay Hollywood agent, although I’m not much like a Houston Sheriff, either. 
DotW: That’s true.
Galligan: The one that is the most like me, is probably the one I did with River Phoenix, Surviving. I’m essentially playing myself there.  Right around that time I had a strained relationship with my dad over certain things, like my character did. I was discovering a lot about the infidelity that wrecked my parents’ marriage like my character was. I think I was moody. I think I was a lot like my character, I was a bit of a jock but I had to quit to do the theatre. I was a good student like the character and kind of a romantic/monogamous person like the character, so, yeah; I think I’m the most like “Rick” in Surviving.
DotW: So, do people ever quote things at you?
Galligan: Of course! When I first moved back to New York in 2003, I knew I was really back when I got out of the subway and was walking down Mulberry St. in the SoHo area and people across the street were going “What’s up, Billy?!” and I knew I was home.  I think it was also sort of rare for someone to look the same, like I have. People seem to think that I look at least similar to Gremlins 2. 
DotW: I guess being called “Billy” is better than someone creeping up behind you and screaming “Bright Light!”
Galligan: I only really get called “Billy” at conventions.
DotW: This is going to take me so long to transcribe.


Galligan: Yeah, it’s going to take a while; it’s been like an hour and a half. But it was fun, wasn’t it?
DotW: Yes! It was lots of fun!
Galligan: Now you look back at the beginning, being nervous, and know you had nothing to be nervous about!

FEMALE HORROR JOURNALISTS YOU SHOULD BE READING (THAT AREN'T PLAGIARISTS!)

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Blah. Blah. Blah. Plagiarism. Blah. Blah. Blah. Quentin Tarantino. Blah. Blah. Blah. We get it. Everyone has been talking about a rising female horror journalist with a high-profile boyfriend that recently got busted for stealing from other writers and pawning them off as her own work. Quite frankly, as furious as I am, I'm sick of talking about it. She doesn't deserve the amount of free publicity (there's no such thing as bad publicity) she's getting for being a shitty journalist, and I'm not going to be the one who gives her anymore. The hard work of others was taken for granted and it is cruelly unfair that a thief will forever be a name we all remember, and there are individuals that still remain in the shadows.  I want to be furious, I want to dedicate an entire article talking about how unforgivable the act of plagiarism is, but a thief is not worthy of my energy or analysis.  At this time, I think the important action to take is to direct your attention to women that are far more worthy of your time and attention.  The plagiarist in question has taken away opportunities from other women who are far more talented, and clearly, much more genuine than Miss "Pen-Name from a 1968 black comedy." Instead of bitching and moaning about this plagiarist, it's time to replace her.  Considering you're reading my blog, you're already off to a good start! I'm not going to bore you with my credentials, because I've already gotten you on this page, and that's good enough for me.





REBEKAH MCKENDRY
Arguably the hardest working female horror journalist in the game, Rebekah McKendry is a trailblazer for female horror journalists everywhere.  Currently the Director of Marketing for FANGORIA magazine (meaning she does just about all of the work behind the scenes), one of the hosts of KILLER POV, the mind behind FEARnet's panel The Unseen, and a contributor to, well, everyone, Rebekah McKendry exudes intelligence, passion, and creativity with everything she does.  She recently hosted the Q & A panel at the Viscera Film Festival, and she's a brand-new Mommy. She's truly an inspiration and more than deserving for all that she has achieved.


KRISTY JETT
Known as The Executive Director of Service & Sass for FRIGHT-RAGS, Kristy was also a runner-up for the Rondo Award this year for "Best Writer."  Kristy is someone I would consider to be a professional fangirl, and has channeled her love for the genre into an impressive career.  Currently, she is a contributor to HorrorHound Magazine, FEARnet, and Rue Morgue Magazine. In the past, Kristy has written for Bloody Disgusting, Dread Central, Fangoria, Famous Monsters of Filmland, Strange Kids Club, Cashiers du Cinemart.  Kristy is also associate producing (and heading P.R.) for Before The Mask, and the spearheader and producer of the retrospective documentary for the film Popcorn.

 HEATHER WIXSON
Dread Central contributing writer and founder of the CineMayhem Film Festival, Heather Wixon is more commonly known on the interwebs (and twitter, can't forget twitter) as "The Horror Chick." Along with writing, she's also previously acted as the Content Editor for Dread Central.  Last year, as a Chicago native (*high fives*) she returned to the Windy City to co-host Flashback Weekend, Chicago's biggest and baddest horror convention of the year.  She's got producing, acting, and directing credits on her imdb resume, and recently nabbed a gig for Marketing, Distribution & Digital Media for Imagination Worldwide.


 STACIE PONDER
Back from her short hiatus, Stacie Ponder, the mastermind behind the smash-hit blog Final Girl, contributor to AMC, artist, and all around hilarious woman is revered by many.  Stacie writes with a sense of humor that is completely unique to her style, but still manages to be understood and adored by all walks of horror life.  Stacie is unapologetically honest with her interpretations and manages to balance entertainment with intelligence unlike any other writer.



ANDREA SUBISSATI AND ALEXANDRA WEST
This dynamic duo represents the beauty and brains behind The Faculty of Horror podcast.  Alexandra West writes for Famous Monsters of Filmland and Rue Morgue Magazine. Andrea Subissati writes for Rue Morgue, contributes to the Rue Morgue Podcast, and has written the book, When There’s No More Room In Hell: The Sociology Of The Living Dead.

CHRISTINE HADDEN
Mother of the outstanding blog, Fascination with Fear, Christine Hadden puts a lens on horror films from an entirely original perspective.  Known for her unique weekly features, powerhouse lists, and remarkably intelligent interpretations of the horror genre, Christine is a relatively unknown voice deserving of far more accolades than what she's been given.  A former contributor to The Blood Sprayer, Christine is currently a contributing writer for FANGORIA.

APRIL SNELLINGS
Acting as the current Associate Editor of Rue-Morgue Magazine, April Snellings is a filmmaking graduate of UNC School of the Arts.  Not only does April edit Rue-Morgue, she's also a contributing writer for the magazine as well as for Metro Pulse. (focusing on film and comic books!)  A self-proclaimed "word nerd," April Snellings consistently provides excellent reading material for horror fans everywhere.


 STACI LAYNE WILSON
Queen of awesome hair and writer of just about every form of media, Staci Layne Wilson dominates the horror journalism circuit.  One of the hosts of the live show, "Inside Horror," Staci  has also participated as a commentator for numerous television shows and documentaries.  Formerly, she's worked for for AOL/Time-Warner, SyFy, Yahoo! Movies, theStream.tv, Horror.com & L’Ecran Fantastique.  Staci has written both fiction and non-fiction books, and also works as a screenwriter.  Not just a journalist, Staci has also directs/produces films and music videos.  Seriously though, her hair is always awesome.

ANDRE DUMAS
When it comes to smart women in horror journalism, you can't get much more knowledgeable than Andre Dumas.  Founder and writer of the popular blog The Horror Digest and unofficial Martha MacIsaac look-a-like,  no one writes like Andre.  Andre writes 100% and purely from the heart, and her personality shines through with every single word.  A former contributor to The Blood Sprayer, Andre is currently the Associate Editor for Planet Fury.  


MONICA KUEBLER
Managing Editor for Rue-Morgue Magazine, Monica Kuebler is also the brain behind Rue-Morgue's  "Library Of The Damned book column" and is currently attempting to expand Rue-Morgue to also covering the horror gaming industry. She has represented Rue-Morgue for many documentaries and TV series including onscreen interviews in History Channel’s The Real Vampire Files and Pretty Bloody: The Women of Horror.  According to her website, "Monica is the founder and editor-in-chief of BURNING EFFIGY PRESS, where she is the sole curator of the company’s celebrated genre chapbook line."  A creative writer as well as journalist, Monica is currently working on her young adult horror/fantasy saga Blood Magic.




KREEPYLADY KRISTIN
The bio-mechanical Frankenlady of Chicago, Illinois, Kreepylady Kristin is one of the Midwest's greatest horror journalism asset.  The founder of The Chicago Creepster, Kreepylady Kristin has been heavily involved with Dark Chicago, Horror Society, and contributes to Chicago NOW as a film critic.  Kristin is one of the most recognizable figures in the Midwest horror community, and is genuinely one of the kindest women I've ever had the pleasure to know.

Of course I can't feature EVERY amazing female horror journalist, because quite frankly, there's too many of us.  They may not be featured, but I encourage everyone to also track down Charlotte Stear, Debi Moore, Liisa LaDouceur, Lyda Peever, Tristian Risk, Britt Hayes, Alison Nastasi, Hannah Neurotica, Killer Kalyn, and Tenebrous Kate. 

FEMALE HORROR JOURNALISTS YOU SHOULD BE READING (THAT AREN'T PLAGIARISTS) PART 2!

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The first installment of this list blew up to proportions I didn't think were possible.  I was met with an out pour of support, received my fair share of hatred, and was slammed with so much criticism I nearly had an existential crisis.  However, this morning I woke up to find that my list had been chosen as today's  #1 on Matt Zoller Seitz's Thumbnails series for RogerEbert.com. I know I had previously stated on my social media accounts that the first list would be the last list, but I can't in good faith allow that to happen.  If I backed down and allowed the "haters" to get me down, I would be doing a disservice to female horror journalists and the integrity of my work.  The first article was admittedly done rather quickly, because I was doing my best to add some kindness towards such a negative situation, and there were a lot of women that weren't mentioned.  Despite what some critics would like to say, there is an abundance of women working within the horror journalism industry, and they too deserve the spotlight. NOTE: I can't feature every single woman who has ever written a horror article ever, and there will always be someone "missing."  Feel free to add names in the comment section and if you have been left off, please understand that there are HUNDREDS of women to choose from, and I cannot feature every single one of them. There are women like Maitland McDonagh and Carol J. Clover who have written books that have truly shaped the way we view horror and film criticism, and because of that, they're a little "too big" for what I'm trying to accomplish with these lists.   I will do my best to include a variety, but please, please understand how difficult it is to encompass everyone. Thank-you.

HEIDI HONEYCUTT
Formerly known as Heidi Martinuzzi, Honeycutt is one of the horror industry's most valuable women.  Heidi started writing for Bloody-Disgusting nearly a decade ago and has since expanded into a feminist horror empire.  She has contributed, at various times, for Ms. Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Bust Magazine, Women and Hollywood, Zinc Magazine, Film Threat, CultCuts, Rue Morgue, and a many ,many more.  Her writing talents lead her to the creation of Pretty-Scary, the first horror news site for women who love horror, online from 2004-2010, and then PlanetFury.com until just recently. Most recently, Heidi has had pieces published in both Fangoria and Famous Monsters. Heidi holds a master's degree in Journalism and is currently writing a book on the history of horror films directed by women.  Outside of her writing talents, she is currently the film programmer for the Viscera Organization, for the Viscera film festival, Etheria film festival, and Full Throttle film festivals. Currently, Heidi runs a blog about women directors at planetetheria.com.  She's been featured in a few documentaries and TV spots on G4 and E! all for horror.  And they say women can't bring the noise for horror...

ANNIE RIORDAN, KERI O'SHEA, STEPHANIE SCAIFE, COMIX, NIA EDWARDS-BEHI, AND KIT RATHENAR

The website Brutal As Hell has been around for quite a while now, and I'm glad to announce that it's a website filled with a very, very diverse writing staff.  Comprised of a large group of female journalists, the women at Brutal As Hell prove that their gender does not define their passions.  Covering ultra-violence, gory horror, comic books, they exemplify why the tagline for the website is "Horror Without Mercy."  One of the founding members, Annie Riordan, is also a major part of Grindhouse Purgatory Magazine.  These women have writing contributions all over the globe, but you can find all of their work at Brutal As Hell.  

ALYSE WAX
Horror journalist, TV producer, Entertainment/Lifestyle writer, fashion writer, and all-around badass, Alyse Wax is one of the most well-known women in the business.  Predominately known for her work on Hollywood.com, BlogCritics.org, and FEARnet, Alyse is truly a jane-of-all-trades in the writing world.  From her website, "Alyse has been published in Teen People Magazine, Weekly World News, Filipino magazine 100, and Hollywood.com. She is the television reviewer and a regular contributor at FEARnet.com, and former fashion editor at USA Network’s CharacterBlog.com. She launched her own fashion website, SporkFashion.com, in 2005 and has since spawned two spin-off sites, SporkBeauty.com and SporkLiving.com."  To put it simply, Alyse Wax is kind of a big deal.

JESSICA DWYER
Don't take this personally, but there isn't another person on this planet that has the geeky street-cred like Jessica Dwyer.  If you look up "fangirl" in the dictionary, you won't find a picture of her, but you'll find the definition of the world "fangirl' which she totally is.  (Please catch my Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang reference).  The Editor in Chief of Fangirl Magazine, one of the co-hosts of Fangirl Radio, and one of the most well known voices of HorrorHound magazine, Jessica Dwyer's passion is unmatched by anyone, regardless of gender.  This woman loves what she does, and it shows through in every single medium to which she contributes.  

AMANDA REYES
Many of horror's greatest contributions lie within the "made-for-TV" movie category.  In terms of these strange creations, nobody speaks on the subject quite like Amanda Reyes.  I am not as familiar with her work as I should be, but there were a number of readers that pointed me to her direction.  From a fan, "Amanda is not only an expert on all things TV (as evidenced by her site "Made For TV Mayhem"), she's also one of the unsung pioneers of female horror journalism as she has been sharing her considerable knowledge of the genre on Retro Slashers for as long as I can remember. She's not one to toot her own horn so I just wanted to toot it for her!"

 JESSIE LILLEY CAMPBELL
Jessie Lilley Campbell truly paved the way for female horror journalists everywhere. From a fan, "Currently the editor of Mondo Cult Magazine, a highly-respected, Rondo-nominated publication, Jessie founded Scarlet Street long before anyone thought women could cut it in this industry. She also was the publisher of Worldly Remains, editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland and Cinefantastique. Please remember her whenever you're thinking of influential, talented Women in Horror. She's the mama of us all!"  Not to mention, Jessie Lilley Campbell was inducted into the Monster Kid Hall of Fame this year!

KIER-LA JANISSE
Where can I even begin with a woman as influential as Kier-La Janisse?  A frequent contributor (as well as the web director/editor) for Fangoria, Kier-La Janisse has been a major player in the horror journalism world since 1997, when she started "Cannibal Culture Magazine."  Two years later, Kier-La started the CineMuerte International horror Film Festival in Vancouver.  CineMuerte ran successfully from 1999-2005.  Kier-La's writing credits include Fangoria, Filmmaker, Rue-Morgue, and the book Destory All Movies!!! A Complete Guide to Punk of Film.  Kier-La has a book of her own, A Violent Professional: The Films of Luciano Rossi.  In 2010, Kier-La opened the screening venue, BLUE SUNSHINE which hosted the The Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies.  Kier-La Janisse's credentials far surpass what I've mentioned here, but you can read more about her accomplishments on her website.

ANITA SARKEESIAN
Anita Sarkeesian is arguably the most infamous of all of the women I could feature on this list.   Anita is the author of the video blog "Feminist Frequency" and the video series Tropes vs. Women, which examines tropes in the depiction of women in popular culture. In 2011, Sarkeesian co-authored the essay "Buffy vs. Bella: The Re-Emergence of the Archetypal Feminine in Vampire Stories" for the anthology Fanpires: Audience Consumption of the Modern Vampire. While Anita Sarkeesian is known moreso for her work with science-fiction, fantasy, and gaming, it was her professionalism and strength after an online campaign to destroy her made the national headlines.  Her influence on the way women are treated in "geek genres" is progressive, and downright inspiring.

There are plenty more women I could feature, but I could probably spend the rest of my blogging career shining a light on all of them.  I'd also like to throw a special shout out to:

June Pulliam, Kim Morgan, Kimberly Lindbergs, Heather Buckley, DeDe Crimmins, Andrea Mark Wolanin, Izzy Lee, Karina Wilson, Lauren Jankowski, Dana Davidson, Jill Killington, Jenna Busch, Jenna Pitman, Melissa Silverstein, Maria Giese, Chandra Vitellaro, Jeanette Laredo, and
THE COUNTLESS OTHER FEMALE HORROR JOURNALISTS!

IS HORROR REALLY CONTEMPORARY?: AN ANALYTICAL LOOK AT TODAY'S YOUTH IN SCARY MOVIES VS. REALITY

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I watched The Ghastly Grinner after school...
I was born in 1990.  Yes, you read that correctly. 1990 as in, I'm only 23 years old.  From the very beginning, horror movies have focused a lens predominately on the life of the teenager.  To quote The Director from The Cabin In The Woods, when it comes to horror, "It's different in every culture, and it has changed over the years, but it has always required youth." The vulnerability and immortal mindset of the teenager has always presented the generation to be ripe for the slaughter.  For most fans of horror, we either are teenagers, or have survived the teenage years.  Horror films are always particular in that while everyone is afraid of something, everyone's fears sit on a varying scale.  Taking a look at a time frame that a large majority of the horror audience has already survived gives audiences something they can all identify with.  Strangely enough, most horror movies as of late have been focusing on families because people were downright sick of seeing teenagers hacked to bits in horror films.  My question, why?  I asked around through social media and many told me, "Because teenagers today are so abysmally obnoxious, no one wants to watch them, even if they die."  Considering I'm only a hop, skip, and a jump out of my teenage years, hearing an assessment like this is incredibly frustrating.  I'm sorry, elders of the horror community, teenagers today don't act the way horror movies portray them.  Horror movies are always hailed as being one of the most contemporary portrayals of its time period, but I think that modern horror movies have completely gotten teenagers wrong.  Don't get me wrong, teenagers are a bunch of fahkin' idiots, but teenagers have ALWAYS been a bunch of fahkin' idiots.  The teenagers of the new millennium aren't any more ridiculous that the teenagers of the generations that came before us, and in fact, we might be a little less ridiculous...
Granted, The Cabin in the Woods was mocking this idea, but you catch my drift.
First of all, teenage girls are not all a bunch of sluts and whores.  Sex and horror go together like peanut butter and jelly, and it always has.  Somehow, for some reason, despite the years and years of horror movies showing teenagers playing "hide-the-boner" in the most inopportune of moments, the horror fans that aren't presently in Generation Millennial are under the impression that kids today are having more sex than ever before.  Uh, really?  Okay. Well, thanks to Medical News Today, studies have shown that teenagers today are waiting longer to have sex for the first time in 25 years.  Not only that, but even if we WERE having more sex than the older generation, why does that even matter?  Society has a whole has become overtly sexualized in the last 20 years and it has nothing to do with teenagers and everything to do with marketing.  This sexual spin started happening when the older generations were teenagers, and it has become the market in which today's kids have been raised in.  The kids today are simply products of their sexualized environment that has existed from birth.  Then again, women today aren't having more sex...they're just less ashamed of their sexualities. Score one for feminism.

Detention is the single most offensive film to my generation. Period.
Another common misconception perpetuated by horror films, is that Generation Millenial are a bunch of entitled brats.  "Back in my day, I didn't have a cell phone until I was 25 and now I see kids today with iPads before they can drive!"  Fair assessment, but cell phones also weren't readily available and affordable for all people until you were 25.  You also weren't a child during a time with some of the highest rates of crime in history, or in a time where children are more scheduled and involved with extra-curriculars than ever before.  These parents aren't giving their whiny teenagers new modes of technology because they whine for it, having cell phones are a survival requirement.  Some elementary schools are requiring 9 year olds to have iPads to help teach them how to adapt to the constantly advancing world of technology.  However, instead of actually thinking about why the modern teenager is able to text faster than the average CEO and work their way around modes of technology that will be a necessity by the time they're looking for career planning, the older generation sees "entitled brats" and reflects that mislead mentality in movies.  Teenagers may be a little tech-obsessed, but at least we know how to handle it.

Sure, Tamara was bullied...but don't act like you weren't pushed in a locker 20 years ago.
Every day we see growing reports of teenagers offing themselves from years of bullying and cyber-bullying and somewhat of an epidemic rate.  These numbers often inspire filmmakers and screenwriters to portray teenagers in the cut-throat world of high school and college as nothing more than assholes hell-bent on ruining the lives of those we deem "inferior." Look, I'm not going to sit here and make up some lies about how kids aren't cruel, because that just isn't true.  I am, however, going to analyze the fact that unlike when the generations that came before us were bullied, there wasn't any physical (and constant) documentation of it.  Bullying feels more intense than it did 30 years ago because now the bullying is inescapable.  The mean things you would hear in the hallway are now staring at you in the face on twitter with no way of erasing it. Bullying isn't more intense, just the medium has changed.  We have our bullying assholes the same way you had your bullying assholes, the only difference is that now our bullying is in print.

But mooooooooom, I want to do what I WANT.
















Did you know that today's teenager is totally selfish and only cares about themselves?  Yeah, despite the fact that more teenagers today spend their summers doing community service than going to a summer camp, we're totally a bunch of self-obsessed assholes.  "Teenagers today don't move out of their parents' homes and are a bunch of free-loaders!" you my cry, but what these horror movies DON'T show about today's modern teen is the ridiculous amount of shit that we have to deal with that effects our future that the teens that came before us never have to experience.  Student loan debt is at an all time high and most teenagers are graduating owing a god damn house before they ever step out of mom & dad's front door.  Why are we still living at home? Because we can't fucking afford to live anywhere else.  Screenwriters see this idea of a free-loading teen and write characters that are whiny, constantly looking for ways to weasel themselves out of responsibility, and inattentive parents that give their kids whatever they want.  Sorry, but that's not how it is. It's really, really not.

Look at my abs. Look at my no-pants. LOOK AT MY RADIATING CONFIDENCE!
We're all image obsessed and totally confident, too, you know?  This one makes me a little insane.  I don't understand the sudden wave of horror casting directors opting for "look" before "talent," but it's getting really old, really fast.  My generation is BOMBARDED by media outlets influencing our appearance harder than ever before, and because of it, horror films are under the impression that all teenagers either ARE top-model gorgeous or want to be top-model gorgeous.  Combine this with the idea that we're all selfish, and we're breeding a character that is completely unlikeable and painfully annoying.  Weird, I wish I knew a modern teenager that wasn't falling into the statistic that we're more depressed, anxious, and paranoid than ever before...

I have the power of life and destruction in my hands, and I totally know what that means. LOLJK.
Perhaps the most troubling, is that despite all of the negative attributes screenwriters are attaching to their characters, the idea that today's teenager has the same worldview as the 45-year old who wrote the character, is pretty damn alarming.  Adam Barnick brought this idea to my attention through twitter, and he's absolutely right.  At the end of the day, teenagers are still teenagers.  We're just as naiive as the generations that came before us, yet our screenwriters make it seem like we have this insane existential grasp on society as a whole.  We can't be bothered with the direct instant-gratification of fixing our own problems, we're too busy saving people from falling buildings when a monster attacks us.  Yeah, our first instinct, despite being so "self-absorbed" isn't to save ourselves...it's to save our ex-girlfriend or something.  It's ridiculous.  You can't give us all of these noble qualities and in the same breath, insult the absolute shit out of us by making us look like a bunch of selfish jerks.

I'm not trying to say that teenagers today aren't a bunch of toolbags, because they are, but so were every other generation of teenagers that came before us.  I'd just like to see a little more depth into my generation, because I promise you, we're not nearly as vapid as the films would make us out to be.

DOOGIE HORNER'S "100 GHOSTS" IS THE CUTEST COFFEE TABLE BOOK, EVER.

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I'm a total sucker for coffee table books. I don't even have a coffee table to keep the endless supply of horror themed decorative books I've accumulated over the years, but I adore every single one of them.  I review a lot of books on Day of the Woman, but I can safely say 100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts by Doogie Horner is hands-down the cutest one I've ever gotten in the mail.  Available September 10th, 2013, 100 Ghosts features 100 different ghosts (complete with adorable little illustrations) showcasing ghosts that aren't out to be creepy or scary.  Believe it or not, some ghosts like to dress up festively just like the living.  100 Ghosts is a whimsical book perfect for any age.  It's simple enough for the youngest of readers, but clever enough to put a smirk on the face of even the most jaded of cynics.  Fans of any horror illustrations or comics will adore this book, and I can't stress this any harder. IT'S SO ADORABLE I JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE ITS LITTLE HARDCOVER BODY!

IZZY LEE'S "LEGITIMATE RAPE" KICKS MISOGYNY IN THE BALLS

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Izzy Lee's disturbing short film, Legitimate Rape combines horror and politics in an extremely unsettling manner.  Opening with quite possibly the most infuriating quote ever uttered by a politician, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down," Izzy Lee takes Todd Aikin's moronic statement and completely spins it on its head.  The short film follows a Senator seated with some form of alcohol watching a sexy striptease from a woman clad in rope.  As she undoes her "constraints" with the aide of the Senator, his drink seems to hit him a bit harder than it should, and he passes out.  What starts out as a beautiful metaphor for the way women are constantly paraded in a male dominated society while congruently forced to exist within the strict confines of misogynist rules. (I'm speaking generally, of course.) immediately shifts left into a wild experiment with body horror.  Men cannot get pregnant. Period. If a man is raped he will not ever experience something growing inside of him without his consent.  This isn't to say that male rapes are any less traumatic or less important, but the fact of the matter is that men wouldn't ever need to have their bodies "shut that whole thing down" because they cannot get pregnant. Well, Izzy Lee tries to symbolically show the bodily violation of a female that doesn't have a body "shutting that whole thing down" but from the male perspective.  It's a little sexy, a little gory, but it delivers a message loud and clear.  Rape. Is. Rape.

THE GAME CHANGER OF CINEMA: HOW THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA AFFECTS THE HORROR FILM INDUSTRY

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At any given moment, I am interactively connected to people all across the globe.  Instagram, twitter, facebook, linkedin, tumblr, blogger, wordpress, YouTube, and snapchat have given me the opportunity to communicate with a multitude of individuals from all different walks of life that I would never have be able to do without the aide of the internet.  the internet has undoubtedly shaped the way we live our daily lives, but it has also given us tools to pursue our dreams that generations before us could only write about in futuristic fantasy novels.  Is it wonderful that I can hear a stupid comment Rush Limbaugh said and know that there are millions that agree with me on his idiocy?  Yes.  But what gives me more pleasure is the fact that the internet has helped develop a community of like minded individuals to encourage and help (sometimes financially) lovers of film follow their dreams.  Considering just about everyone is on some form of social media site, it begs the question, can you make a movie in the digital age without it?

President Wolfman!!
The obvious answer is of course, "yes."  Of course you can make a movie without the aide of the triple w. (that's 90s slang for WWW or "world wide web," probably.)  However, if you want your movie to be SEEN, it's almost impossible without the aide of the internet.  Getting into festivals can be pretty difficult.  Not only can it be very costly, but getting into a festival doesn't guarantee that your film is going to get picked up, or reviewed, or even seen.  You very well could have a film screened at some bogus time slot and no one ever sees it.  Coming from someone that has attended a decent amount of festivals in their lifetime, there are a buttload of amazing films (both short and feature) that I have seen at festivals and have ONLY seen at festivals.  I can't share a film with my friends or promote them to watch/see it, because it was only available at a festival.  It sucks. Do you have any idea how much it sucks not to be able to show every single person I've ever met in my life PRESIDENT WOLFMAN?  That's right, you don't understand, because I can't friggin' show it to you and you are therefore unaware of its genius!  If a film does a festival run but nothing more, it greatly limits the audience size for viewing pleasure.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some film festivals, but I think their purpose is now nothing more than a way to maintain a sense of prestige in an industry that is constantly watering down content to be more marketable rather than showcasing artistic integrity.  There, I said it.  Seriously, what does your laurel even mean anymore?

Joe Lynch's Truth in Journalism
An area to examine is the technology boom that everyone celebrated.  Everyone champions a new era of filmmakers based on the technology of cameras, editing software, and all of the accessories that comes along with it.  What people ignore is how that new content is then distributed to new audiences.  It's great that everyone has Final Cut Pro, but what do you do when you're done editing?  Thanks to YouTube, Vimeo, and elsewhere, distribution now relies on audience's interest rather than that of a distributor.  Which, ironically, is what film festivals hope to attract.  To put it simply, even your middle man, has a middle man.  Sudance, Cannes, and SXSW are the "household names" that are even beginning to fade.  I can't tell you what film won the "top prize" at any of those festivals recently, but I can tell you that the Internet went absolutely stir-crazy over Joe Lynch's Truth in Journalism when it was released on YouTube last week.  We as a society have begun to change our tastes in terms of consumption.  Instant gratification gives way to prestigious packaging.  You could argue that we have shorter attention spans and become more morally debased in terms of our entertainment, but the reality is that we're more savvy in the media that we consume. It's the reason we're watching so many things through video on demand services and staying home to watch an entire season of
Hemlock Grove on Netflix in one sitting.  It's the reason we're jumping with excitement over anthology horror films like V/H/S/ and craving highly buzzed films like YOU'RE NEXT after seeing our idols nerdgasm out about it all over twitter.  We don't even need reviews anymore, we just need one person on twitter to tell us something is cool, and we believe it.  With VOD services and online streaming platforms, what is the reason for me to even leave my home?

Katharine Isabelle in American Mary
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that the theatrical experience is obsolete, because I disagree completely.  There is nothing and will never be anything quite like the magic of the movies.  Was it worth it to shell out the extra twenty dollars to see Pacific Rim in IMAX?  You bet your ass it was.  Do I want to bash the skull in on the person who continually tries to play Candy Crush on their phone in front of me in a dark movie theater? You bet your ass I do.  However, a good majority of the films I review for Day of the Woman or Icons of Fright are sent to me through filmmakers ONLINE or through mailed DVDs. I don't get to sit in a theater at a festival to write a review, I get sent a disc or a link with a password.  A large amount of the people who are telling you to go out and spend your money on movies, aren't even going to see the damn movie in the theater themselves.  I will never, ever, ever, EVER, promote not going to the theater, but there are so many incredible films that I've only gotten the opportunity to watch because of the internet.  It is because of these VOD services and legal downloads (seriously, don't pirate movies, asshole) that films like American Mary were given a chance to be picked up by distributors and showed the world The Soska Sisters (and transitive property, got them the See No Evil 2 gig).  It's because of these opportunities, we didn't have to wait to see V/H/S/2 despite living somewhere other than a major metropolis.  I hate to say it, but without the internet, there would be a lot less movie watching going on.  

The sweet tradeoff is with this connectivity, I can now reach out to a lot of these filmmakers, and so can you, unlike anytime before.  You can tweet at Wes Craven and tell him how his films changed your life. You can reblog the incredible smut off of Adam Wingard's tumblr to get an insight of how his mind works, and if you want any updates on Everly, the best place to look is on Joe Lynch's instagram feed. How cool is that? #verycool. Look, the internet is turning into Skynet whether we like it or not, my suggestion is that we learn to embrace it and mold it into a tool that we can utilize to benefit ourselves and our filmmaking, rather than completely turn against it like an angry toddler.  Movie theaters will never go out of style, but not supporting e-content and VOD is only going to hurt independent filmmakers, and those that aren't fortunate enough to attend festival screenings. Then again, well, that's just, like, my opinion, man.


I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE 2: NOTHING LIKE PROFITING OFF OF RAPE CULTURE

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I have been avoiding this topic like an open container at a frat party, but seeing this poster has officially compelled me to finally give my two cents on the topic of I Spit On Your Grave 2.  I'll start this article like I start most of mine on the topic of ISOYG, with the reminder that this website gets its name from the original title of ISOYG, which was Day of the Woman.  The original 1978 film was a groundbreaking (and arguably misunderstood) look into the rape revenge subgenre of horror films.  Many people view the original film as exploitative, but the original I Spit On Your Grave was Meir Zarchi's attempt at working through his own personal anger towards the unnecessary violence he had witnessed firsthand towards women.  He has publicly stated numerous times that ISOYG was meant to serve as social commentary.  He forces audiences to witness the truth of how gritty and terrible rape is, and never gives the audience the luxury of looking away. To put it simply, he puts audiences in the same visual seat as a rape victim, and forces us to understand the cruelty and brutality behind this dastardly action. The original was also one of the first films to showcase rape victims as anything but a victim.  He showed an outlet for the rage that often sits within the hearts of survivors of rape and personified these feelings by letting his protagonist act upon those urges. I could write for days on this subject, but I've recently tackled this topic in a contributing article for a book that I will speak more about on a later date.

Fast forward to the remake. As much as I don't like the idea of remaking the original film (because this film was remade for the sake of being remade and NOT with the intent of sending a message) I understand why it was done.  The industry was at the peak of its remake craze and how else could you pack a punch more than remaking one of the most infamously brutal films of all time?  Look, I don't like the fact they remade the original, but I understand why it was done.  The remake is a step up cinematically with it's technical skills, but the script and heart of the original was completely lost and if I see one more comment praising the lead actress for looking "so hot" while she was nude, I will crack some skulls. She's being raped, you fucking perverts.

Remember this tagline? Oh yeah, that happened.
I digress. The remake was received with mixed reviews, but the majority seemed to find the film only successful because it was a better "made" film than the original.  Fair enough. I get it.  With the announcement of a sequel to that abomination, I am officially disgusted.  The first remake was made to make a profit off of the "hot ticket" crazes in the film industry. Okay, that's a smart business move, and that makes sense.  The sequel? Are you kidding me?  The first film didn't garner enough positivity to constitute a remake and the only thing "hip" about rape right now is the fact that the American government has skyrocketed their heads up their asses in terms of how to deal with women's reproductive rights and society's ever present idea that women who have sex are sluts and rape victims "deserve" it.  I'll even give the remake props in that it did somewhatcapture the essence of the original, and sent a message about rape.
Hi. I like to make money off of a tragedy that affects 1/3 women instead of sending a message.
This film is doing nothing more than profiting off of rape culture.  They're using a crime that is still misunderstood and a silent epidemic as a "shock" tactic.  People thought the original was exploitative? Hell no. THIS is exploitative.  The original was made to be social commentary, this remake/sequel is being made to make money.  Good sequels are made to follow the storyline that couldn't be wrapped up in the original film, bad sequels are made to milk the cash cow left behind by the original.  This film is nothing more than trying to make a quick buck off of the very real tragedy that millions of people both men and women walk around with every day. This is a crime that leaves victims breathing, but unable to forget what they've endured...and instead of doing something strong willed with this knowledge and opportunity, they're trying to profit off of it.

YOU CALL YOURSELF A SCREAM QUEEN, EH?

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Yeah. Real talk.
Almost a year ago, I wrote a piece called "Where have all the Scream Queens gone?!" at the request of Cortez the Killer from Planet of Terror. A little less than 365 days later and we've found our "Scream Queens," on the resumes of self-proclaimed actresses.  In the article previously mentioned, I made a quick jab at these self-proclaimed actresses with a comment saying, "True scream queens know they're scream queens and I don't need to justify their careers on my website.  This is more so focused to the recent splurge of self-proclaimed scream queens.  I'm sorry, but just because you screamed at a CGI monster in a push up bra in two films...you're not a scream queen (I'm looking at you Jaimie Alexander)."  The sad thing about this self-proclaimed scream queen craze, is that actresses aren't the only ones guilty of this practice.  Horror news sources desperate for hits are putting "JANE DOE ACTRESS: UP AND COMING SCREAM QUEEN" in their titles in the hopes that people will click and read.  It's Journalism 101 to create an eye-catching title, but this "scream queen" phenomenon needs to pump the brakes.

Scream Queen Danielle Harris got her start in horror and returns to the genre frequently (but has plenty of non-horror credits to her name)
When a journalist names an actress a "Scream Queen" when she has not yet deserved the title, it becomes problematic for a number of reasons. First off, you're putting an insane amount of pressure on what is presumably an up-and-coming face in the acting industry.  A lot of women that we name "Scream Queens" are just getting their start, and horror is the jumping off point for the careers of a large amount of actors.  It's the actresses that remain in the horror industry that we tend to refer to as "Scream Queens." This isn't to say that they can't branch out and play in other genres, but the "Scream Queens" we know and love tend to return to the genre that gave them their start.  By naming a girl a SQ at the start, you're either pigeon-holing her into only making horror movies, or you're giving her the pressure that she's obligated to perform in horror.  Believe it or not, not everyone wants to be in a horror movie. Call a girl a SQ and you put her at risk for being typecast as a horror actress for the rest of her career. That's not really fair, is it?

You think you're on JLC's level? Really?
Another issue is that calling an undeserving actress a SQ also takes away some of the prestige from the women who worked very, very hard to earn those titles. Think of it like little league sports.  If every kid gets a trophy, the 1st place trophy doesn't feel quite as sweet.  It's celebrating mediocrity and it's drawing false parallels. Self-proclaiming the SQ title immediately means that you consider yourself to be just as deserving of the acclaim as the universally accepted SQs.  I'm sorry, but do you honestly believe that your mixed-review performance in an independent film that only has 5,000 hits on YouTube puts you in the same category as someone like Jamie Lee Curtis that perfected the art of the "Final Girl" and has her name attached to multiple horror franchises including a little known film called HALLOWEEN? It's absolutely preposterous. I don't care how many times you call yourself a SQ on your twitter profile or attach it to your name in a press release, if you didn't earn the title, you have no place using it. If you went to medical school, no matter how great you thought you were, you wouldn't walk around calling yourself the Surgeon General because it's not a title that you've earned.  So why the Hell do people think it's socially acceptable to throw around titles like "Scream Queen" and attach them to any woman who has ever flashed their tits in front of a man with a knife?  If that was the case, every butcher's wife in New York can call themselves a "Scream Queen."  Acting isn't just some hobby, it's a serious business and the careers for many individuals.  Tainting a title that many people dream of someday having bestowed upon them by slapping it on as a catch-all for any actress in a horror film is just plain wrong. The title of a Scream Queen is earned, and until you've paid your dues...see the title as something to strive for.  We don't give out trophies here, they must be deserved.

YOU NEVER WANT TO DO SOMETHING INTERESTING: HOW "YOU'RE NEXT" BECAME ONE OF THE MOST EMPOWERING HORROR FILMS FOR WOMEN

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This woman comes from a land where they eat Vegemite by choice. Of course she's tough.
 It has been dissected timeandtimeagain on the way the horror genre has misrepresented women both on the screen and off, but whenever a film comes along and represents a female character as something different, we immediately bring praise to the filmmakers.  While this practice is admittedly problematic, the only reason we stress the importance of these "strong female characters" is in large part to the lack of positive female representation.  The "weak" female character has proven to be a safe staple within the horror genre, and somewhat of a requirement in the slasher genre.  Simply put, no one ever wants to do anything interesting.  Witness Simon Barrett, Adam Wingard, Sharni Vinson and the creation of YOU'RE NEXT.

I wonder what George Orwell would say about this...

We've all seen the advertisements, a majority of us own those damn animal masks, and some of us horror geeks have giant boners for AJ Bowen and Barbara Crampton.  YOU'RE NEXT has been the talk of the horror world for the last few months, and the overall consensus is that the film kicks all sorts of ass. (It does, trust me.) People keep bringing up how YOU'RE NEXT has taken the home-invasion sub-genre and spun it on its head.  Most importantly, however, is the fact YOU'RE NEXT may very well be one of the most empowering horror films for women, ever.
(NOTE: If you haven't seen YOU'RE NEXT, you need to 1) stop what you're doing and see the film and 2) understand that this piece is an analysis and events of the film WILL be spoiled.)

Oh my god, adopt me.

Starting with the matriarch of the family, we have horror demi-goddess, Barbara Crampton as "Aubrey."  While this character on the surface to be following the trend of every other not-exactly-sober mother in a slasher film, Aubrey brings something that few other maternal horror figure has; heart.  Aubrey is one of the most well constructed mother characters because of her undeniable love for her family. Mothers in horror films are often seen as skeptical, heartless, drunk, or cruel.  Aubrey is very protective of her family and showcases this throughout the entire film.  She questions things when no one else will and despite the obvious dysfunction of her children, she dedicates herself to them just the same.  What struck me as the most empowering, is the fact Aubrey actually mourns.  Most horror movie mothers are seen as women flying off the handle with absolutely no control of their lives. They panic and make stupid decisions.  Aubrey on the other hand realizes the situation at hand and mourns for her family. Her true dedication and love for her family is admirable, and unlike most of the mothers we see in horror films.

But bringing home a starving artist was my extent of rebellion!
Aimee, the golden daughter of the family (played by Amy Seimetz) is one of the more minor characters and is killed off early because of it.  The daddy's girl and "princess" of the children appears to do no wrong.  She is immediately shown as the least liked of the siblings, but the most adored by the parents. Her death brings out the strongest reaction from the parental units, but the weakest reaction from the rest of the family.  Her good-girl persona seems to be something she uses to her advantage (overly excited introductions to other people, extreme affection towards her father) but is also something she desperately wants to rid out of her life (meet my starving artist/filmmaker boyfriend wearing the douchiest scarf this side of a Bright Eyes concert played by Ti West, TAKE THAT DAD!) However, she represents an ideal that a lot of women strive to possess. How do we treat ideals, ladies and germs? WE KILL THEM OFF AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.  Ideals are boring, one-dimensional, and unrealistic.

I may look like Olivia Wilde in TRON, but I will bone you in ways Freud could never interpret.

Wendy Glenn as "Zee" makes for an incredibly interesting female villain.  Most female villains are seen as nothing more than pure evil, while Zee represents the true complexity of the female mind.  Although she is originally viewed as an unenthusiastic familial girlfriend being dragged against her will to a gathering with her dysfunctional potential in-laws, we quickly discover her character is actually quite unique.  It's important to note that throughout the entire first 3/4 of the film, Zee is acting.  She is playing into the roles assigned to her and does them effortlessly. Once the big twist is revealed, Zee is no longer the doting girlfriend. She is 100% handling her instincts and her motives. At this point, her boyfriend, Felix is no longer her motivator. She has done her best to comfort him in his time of need, but her demands are her demands.  She tries to seduce Felix while laying next to the corpse of his dead mother, and when he declines she responds, "You never want to do anything interesting."  While it may be a bit exaggerated, Zee stomps on the idea that women are not sexually aggressive and the idea that women aren't as sexually creative as our male counterparts.  Hate to out my lady friends, but women are just as big of perverts as men. Showing this sexually progressive woman was refreshing to see (even if her kink was a little TOO far for my comfort zone.) This progressive attitude is thanked by being the only female character not murdered by an animal, but instead by her fellow woman. 

OH MY GOD! I WILLINGLY WORE A RUFFLED COLLAR TO A DINNER PARTY!
The snobbish WASPy lover of Joe Swanberg, Kelly, is played beautifully by Margaret Laney.  Kelly is the woman everyone knows and plays nice with even though they can't stand her.  Entitled, selfish, judgmental, and a total prude, Kelly represents that rich girl who lives off of Mommy and Daddy's money and therefore feels like she's better than everyone else.  She completely hits the panic button when disaster strikes and runs purely off of emotion, a very stereotypically "girly" reaction to chaos.  She also serves as the two sided opposite to Zee and Erin.  Zee and Erin both want what Kelly and Aimee have (money and an established life of stability).  This is represented physically by the fact that both Kelly and Aimee wear their hair up (a symbol of a dignified and "put together" lady) while Zee and Erin don their hair down.  Although, Kelly is not perfect as she DOES show the most skin of any of the characters in the film, and does pop pills.  How is this woman thanked for her attitude? The judgmental bitch is thrown like a stone in a glass house -- through a glass window.

Don't let Step Up 3D fool you, she's a bonafide badass.

Most obviously, we were given the most bad-ass final girl this side of Nancy Thompson. Sharni Vinson's "Erin" ushered in an entirely new form of female final girls.  Unlike the virginal final girls that only survived because they fell into the trope of being pure and exactly what society wants women to be, (sexually attainable without having sex) Erin was a strong-willed female character capable of defending herself using a combination of beauty, brains, and brawn.  Remaining cool and collected when necessary but not without the guts to completely bludgeon to death anyone that crosses her.  With the booby trap preparation skills that would make Kevin McAllister proud, Erin understands that in this life, you've got to take care of yourself.  Erin is never once dressed scantily (not that there's anything wrong with that) and she's never over-sexualized. She's merely your everyday woman living the way she chooses.  She's progressive in that she left a TA position (meaning, this is where her mentioned student loans are coming from as this would forfeit any scholarship) to be with the professor she had fallen in love with.  Whether or not Barrett made this intentional, there's also a remarkable feminist analysis of Erin's strength.  I'm about to put on a psychoanalytical/psychosexual hat, you've been warned. Erin is a female fighting a bunch of male animals with incredibly phallic weapons.  In the Animal Kingdom, the alpha male is always seen as a dominant and physically aggressive creature while the alpha female is important for breeding purposes. Erin completely changes the game. While her male animal attackers are shooting arrows at her (reminiscent of the way animals "mark their territory" and determine things to be off-limits to other animals) or trying to insert overly long phallic machetes (hurray for wiener imagery) into her body.  99.99% of the time, female horror victims express pains in sounds that resemble an orgasm.  Erin expresses pain with barbaric wails or subdued sounds of pain, never once does she sound post-coital. This simple action shows that Erin is a woman that is not defined by the male sexuality, but secure in her own identity. *takes off psychoanalytical/psychosexual hat* The "strong female lead" we were promised with the Evil Dead remake and didn't get was hand delivered on a silver platter in the form of Sharni Vinson.  Kudos, Barrett/Wingard. You hit one out of the park for women in horror.

EDIT: YOU'RE NEXT PASSES THE BECHDEL TEST. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

ANOTHER ASSHOLE WITH A HANDYCAM: HOW THE MODERN AGE IS DILUTING HORROR

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Not gonna lie, this would scare the shit out of me.
I've been publicly writing about horror movies for the past five years, and I've been obsessed with the genre for an entire lifetime. I should be excited for how many horror films are being made in this age where anyone could make a movie, but I'm just not. Horror is more than just babes, blood, and screaming. Horror is a precise art form that if not executed properly, can become trite and uninteresting VERY, VERY fast. God, I hate that I'm being such a judgmental asshole about other people's artwork, but an important part of the cinematic arts is the way your audience responds to it.  With the technological advancements making it easier and easier for the Average Joe to make a movie, it's making it much more difficult for completed projects to actually reach an audience.  Film festival competitions are getting stiffer and harder to get accepted into, simply on the grounds that the volume of entries has grown.  Don't get me wrong, I love that so many people are making movies, but the fact so many people are making horror movies because they think it's the "easiest" genre to execute, makes me want to stab them in the arm with a fork and twist out their veins like spaghetti.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT! No wait! THE EVIL DEAD! No wait! DELIVERANCE! No wait! HATCHET! No wait! CABIN FEVER! NO WAIT...
What boggles my mind is that a lot of independent horror filmmakers are crying about there being so many horror movie remakes, but in the same breath decide that they want to make a horror movie about teenagers in the woods.  I'm sorry, but where is YOUR contribution to this originality you so crave? Everything is a copy of a copy of an inspiration of a copy of something at this point in time, which is why watching a movie like YOU'RE NEXT or THE CABIN IN THE WOODS is so refreshing to watch.  There are more locations for horror movies than an abandoned building or the woods.  Look, I understand why independent filmmakers do it. Abandoned buildings and forests are free locations, and when you're working with a limited budget you need to exploit free resources as best as you can.  However, never sacrifice originality in the name of saving a few bucks. Where can you change? Is there electricity? If it absolutely must be the woods, what does that say about your setting? Abandoned whatever doesn't always equal good.

Dressing your set = important. ANTIVIRAL proving less is more


It just feels like a lot of these independent filmmakers think that because they have a camera, or because they know someone who knows someone who has a RED, that they're set on making a great looking horror movie.  As we all know, that's just not the case.  My biggest pet peeve about the independent films I've been sent is a lack of set dressing.  So you're doing a scene in a living room that is owned by your sound guy, AWESOME! Well, does your sound guy have the same taste in art as your character? Is the furniture arranged in a way where you can shoot your scene and not have the boom mic end up shown in a mirror in the background? The way we behave in a classroom is differently than the way we behave in a doctor's office or a roller rink.  Your set is the world of the movie and you always want to make sure that your characters are living in the same world (or not at all, if that's what you're going for).  Just throwing people in a set and praying it works isn't going to cut it. You've gotta shape and mold your world, or else you're not doing your story justice.  That, and you're making a lame looking movie.

I want this shot framed on my wall. HOUSE OF THE DEVIL is friggen' GORGEOUS.
There's also a HUGE lack of cinematography.  Cinematography is a matter of knowing how to frame a shot. Think about the action that you want to display and then how you want to set it up. This helps dramatically with how you want to light it too. Think of the motivation and how you wanted to play out in the scene.  I'm not saying you have to go to film school to become a filmmaker, because that's just not true. Film making is an artform, it's a hands on creation that only gets better with practice.  However, taking every single "cool" shot you've ever seen in a movie and throwing it all together isn't going to make a "cool" film. It's going to make a jumbled mess that's hard on the eyes and looks like every bad first film school project.  Unfortunately, that's what most of these independent eyesores are doing.  Learn from the movies you love and then emulate them rather than replicate them. If your film isn't visually interesting, you're not bringing anything interesting to the table.  Your film will then be just another horror film made my some douche that people only watch on Netflix when they're drunk to make fun of it.  If that's what you're going for, then fine.  If that's not what you want, then put some effort into it and do your homework.  The lack of pre and post production is also baffling. How the fuck are you filming a movie on a Saturday and releasing it on YouTube on a Wednesday?  Are you kidding me?  Do some color correction, do some editing, add some music, do SOMETHING!  Post production can make or break your film, people. Don't just haphazardly edit some shit together and hope for the best.  CONSTRUCT IT, YO!

Who needs an ending when you can just post a link to a website, AMIRITE?! *puts gun in mouth*


Perhaps most importantly, is a solid script. Without a shadow of a doubt, the biggest problem independent horror films suffer from is a poor script. What is with these insanely asinine stories that are being produced every time I turn around? A script needs to tell a story, convey a message, do SOMETHING.  If you just think "How crazy would it be to rape a 12 year old with a knife?" and try to write a story around it, you're failing.  Nothing infuriates me more than writing shock for the sake of shock.  I think it's cheap and uninspiring.  The SAW films may have tons of gore and killing, but even SAW VI gave an insight to the fractured American medical insurance industry.  Look for different voices to be heard in the script. Characters are brought to life on the page first. If you have concerns about what is written it'll show up in the final product.  Please, re-read what you write. Can you ever hear people talking the way your characters are written to speak? No? Then re-write it.  Are your characters the kind of people you'd be invested in watching? No? Then re-write them. If you yourself wouldn't want to watch a situation with the characters you've created, then you can't expect anyone else to want to watch them either.

Your Oscar can't protect you from TCM: Next Generation on your resume, Renee Zellweger...

Finally, a message for the actors.  What are you gaining by performing in these shit-house horror movies?  Horror is the jumping off point for the careers of many actors, this is true, but you're allowed to be picky with the roles you accept.  So you're going to play a bloodied up set of tits in booty shorts without any rhyme or reason to be in this outfit and you aren't being paid and there's no closed set or safety release forms involved?  Yeah, sounds perfectly legit.  There's a lot of sketchy people out there and as much as I know people want to have a wide range of roles on their resumes or reels, at what cost are you willing to sacrifice your time and talent?  I get needing the money, but a lot of these independent gigs pay very little. In that case, is it worth it? If you're sent a script you find zero merit in, don't get involved.  If you audition for a part that requires you to do or wear things you're not comfortable with, don't do it. These vile pieces of horror garbage aren't going to skyrocket you into fame, and showing your tits on camera doesn't mean you're a "dedicated" actress.  Trust me when I say, people don't forget the gross films you did before you were famous.  Especially in the age of the internet, I would never do something I wouldn't be proud to talk about performing in on a panel at a festival.  Why do you wanna do this project? This is a legacy, a body of work. Is this something you'll be proud of in a year? 5 years? 30 years? If not...don't do it.

Horror, just sucks you right in. WAKKA WAKKA.

Horror gets a bad enough rap for being violent, vulgar, vile, and exploitative.  With all of these stigmas already attached to it, why would you want to make a movie that was anything other than well executed? If you don't do these things you're taking advantage of the one film genre that seems to welcome every filmmaker regardless of skill or talent. This perpetuates the stereotype and the stigma associated with the fans and their audience, that what we like is a low form of entertainment and easy to make.  You're taking advantage of every actor or director or designer that ever got their start in low-budget horror with your thinking that you can do better but failing to do so.  Unfortunately, filmmaking isn't for everyone.  It doesn't matter how much you love watching movies, making movies is an entirely different beast. Just because you have a camera, doesn't mean you can make a good movie.  If you enjoy the creative process, perfect your craft.  If you just want the attention or the fame, stick to recording your niece's dance recital and stop diluting the watering hole for those that actually care.

THE GREATEST SHOTS OF WOMEN WITH WEAPONS

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I had a few hours to kill yesterday, so I hit up my local movie theater for a $5 showing of YOU'RE NEXT.  At 3:00pm on a Monday, I was the only person in the theater and one of only four people (including the concession stand boy and the ticket girl) in the entire building.  If you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I spent the screening either dancing or singing as loud as possible to "Lookin' For The Magic" every time it came on.  I like watching movies a second time, and as much as I enjoy the theatrical experience, there's something exciting about being the only person in a theater.  For one thing, it allowed me to notice a lot of things that normally go unnoticed.  Knowing what was going to happen throughout the film, it gave me the opportunity to really examine what was on the screen.  I wrote about the female characters of the film already, but I failed to mention how incredibly bad-ass Sharni Vinson looks with a weapon in her hands.  It got me thinking, and there really isn't anything better than a woman with a weapon.  It doesn't matter if she's holding a weapon in defense or if she's the one about to do the killing, women and weapons always make for beautiful film scenes.  The more I thought about it, a large amount of my favorite horror movie stills (and promotional material) showcase women with weapons.  This is in no way a definitive list, it's just a compilation of my favorite images of women with weapons.
Sharni Vinson in YOU'RE NEXT

Sarah Butler and (unknown actress, rumored to be Demi Moore) in I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
Kathy Bates in MISERY
Cecile De France in HAUTE TENSION
Milla Jovovich in RESIDENT EVIL
Jocelin Donahue in HOUSE OF THE DEVIL
Linnea Quigley in HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS
Danielle Harris in HALLOWEEN 4
Emma Stone in ZOMBIELAND
Stefania Casini in SUSPIRIA

Jennifer Rubin in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS
Kelli Maroney in NIGHT OF THE COMET
Kyra Schon in NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Shelley Duvall in THE SHINING

PAMELA VOORHEES IN FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE MOST OBVIOUS PLOT TWIST OF ALL TIME

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A face only a mother could love...
Before everyone's favorite hockey mask wearing mutant son began terrorizing Camp Crystal Lake, his Mommy Dearest was the original slayer of sinful counselors.  The cable knit sweater wearing killer was a mother scorned, hoping to avenge the unnecessary death of her precious son Jason.  Pamela Voorhees was dealt a rather difficult hand.  Enduring a pregnancy at the age of sixteen while residing in a trailer with a verbally and physically abusive man, her son would later be born hydrocephalic, forcing her to home-school him while she herself was still a child.  When you really put it into perspective, she had a child at sixteen without the assistance of MTV or her parents.  Sixteen year old girls are some of the most self-absorbed individuals on the planet, and she was responsible for raising a deformed and learning disabled child.  Jason was her entire world.  Growing up without the support or interaction with anyone other than his mother would cause a lot of psychological issues for both Jason and Pamela, and it was after his death that she began to hear the voices telling her to kill those responsible for his untimely demise.  We know this now after twelve movies, a series of novels, a line of comic books, and countless other forms of media.  But what about the original FRIDAY THE 13TH?  Without any of this back story, finding out the killer in the film that started a franchise was actually a woman was shocking for its time and still remains as one of the most "Oh shit" reveals in horror history.  However, if you pay close attention to the film's construction, audiences should have seen this reveal coming from the earliest moments of the movie.
Aww yiss. Gonna tap that ass.

Flashback to good ol' 1958 when the "Camp Blood" killings started to take place, we're given a very slight, but very clear sign that the killer is a woman.  We see our unsuspecting, horny camp counselors sneaking away with the intentions to make the beast with two backs.  Their moments of passion are being spied upon by an unseen force, that makes itself known and then kills the two lovers.  When the two kids notice the figure, they immediately resort to claiming their innocence rather than showing their fear.  Right away, we know that these two personally know their assailant.  The fact that they weren't afraid of physical danger gives the impression that the two are backing away from either an adult or higher-ranked female.  Humans respond differently to adults in power depending on their sex.  We worry that our mothers will yell at us and that our fathers will take a belt to our asses for being disobedient.  Definitely so for 1958 before the "don't beat the children" PC way of mind came to fruition. Historically speaking, in 1958 men of authority were allowed to physically punish those beneath them, while women were in a position of trying to be doting and compassionate.  It isn't until the knife is shown that either of the counselors show any sort of life-determining fear.  Since the two didn't fear any physical forms of punishment until the male counselor is stabbed gives away immediately that the killer is a woman.
I'm painfully adorable and hopelessly naive.
The first casualty of the Camp Crystal Lake re-opening belonged to kitchen helper, Annie.  She doesn't even make it to the camp when she meets her maker.  Although the 1970s/1980s were a time where hitchhiking wasn't viewed nearly as dangerous as it is now, Annie isn't an idiot.  When she is first given a ride closer to the camp, she's in the car with a man.  The things they talk about are a bit more gruesome and sarcastic (the camp's history, mild banter about intelligence) but she gets in the car with this stranger after given the sense of security from the other diners that he's an okay guy.  Once he drops her off, she's later catches a ride from an unseen individual driving a jeep.  Once she gets in the car, her demeanor completely changes.  She becomes more smiley (if that's even possible) and begins talking about children.  The person in the car clearly looks like someone that would agree with her discussion of "I don't like when people call them kids" or she wouldn't bring up the conversation.  Not to mention, her body posture completely changes into a far more relaxed position in the vehicle compared to the closed off position she previously held while in the truck with the man.  It isn't until the unseen driver begins speeding that she looks anything but calm.  After jumping out of the vehicle and being chased through the woods, she even pleads with her captor and keeps a very calm and solemn voice.  It sounds very similar to the way children cower in fear towards their mothers, rather than aggressively panic from their fathers.
Blinded by the kniiiiife...
There are mentions of "fires" at the beginning of the film, and psychologically speaking, women who commit arson are almost always motivated by revenge.  Moving through the film, we see other characteristics that showcase Mama Voorhees to clearly be a female killer. All of the male "slasher" killers were all big fans of the "slash and dash" method of killing, but instead of just slash and dashing up her victims, Mama Voorhees was very calculated.  All of her kills were carefully constructed and executed perfectly.  There were no victims stabbed once and running to hide in closets with clothes hangers.  There was no opportunity to escape her carnage.  Once she had you in her sights, she was taking care of business.  It's the idea of planning and plotting that we normally see with final girls like Nancy Thompson using for survival, but instead used in to take out the victims of Pamela Voorhees. We don't often see this behavior from male killers, but we definitely see it from Pamela Voorhees.  The only time she ever "slips up" is when she gets too distracted talking about her baby boy and why she couldn't let the camp re-open.  If she wasn't so entranced with the love of her son, Alice never would have escaped.  Perhaps my favorite tactic used, is when she even went as far as impersonating the voice of a child in order to lure out one of her female  victims, knowing that she wouldn't be able to ignore a crying child.  That's just plain cruel, but that's a total woman move, right there.
Someone never listened to TRAPT...
Even though Pamela Voorhees gets her head chopped off and dies, she leaves her lone survivor completely messed up in the head.  I don't know about you, but that sounds like a whole lot of mothers out there...

DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS HITS BLU-RAY TODAY!

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Available for the first time in the United States of America, the British are invading with Hammer's release of DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS, finally on Blu-Ray!  Thanks to the people from Millennium Entertainment, you can get your hands on this incredible collector's piece starting TODAY.  The film stars Christopher Lee in his iconic portrayal of everyone's favorite vampire.  The story is the sequel to Hammer's powerhouse film DRACULA (not to be confused with the Universal horror film of the same name) but this time Christopher Lee returns to suck the innocent blood of a group of stranded English tourists in the Carpathian Mountains. The film is absolutely stunning on Blu-Ray and seeing the special effects in HD further prove that there's nothing better than practical blood sucking.  The disc also includes some mind-melting special effects.  The audio commentary was rather entertaining, but I was blown away by the breathtaking stills gallery. 

Special Features Include:
  • Audio commentary with Christopher Lee, Barbara Shelley, Suzan Farmer and Francis Matthews
  • Exclusive still gallery (NEVER BEFORE RELEASED!)
  • Restored original trailer
  • Dracula: Prince of Darkness restoration comparison
  • Super 8MM behind-the-scenes footage
  • Brand new documentary- “Back to Black”
  • World of Hammer Episode: “Hammer Stars: Christopher Lee”
  • Printed Memorabilia perfect for every classic Hammer fan out there
Luckily, Millennium plans on releasing even MORE Classic Hammer titles in the future including Quartermass and the Pit, The Plague of the Zombies, and The Devil Rides Out.  

You can snag your copy of Dracula: Prince of Darkness anywhere Blu-Ray discs are sold, or on the good ol' Amazon.
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